Connection finder

Connection finder

Source: points/cold-email-rules.md rule 5 — "Compare yourself to the recipient — the 'like you' move."

Why this exists

Rachel Konrad's rule 5 is the most-failed rule in the playbook. Most "like you" lines are either:

• Generic — "Like you, I believe AI will transform the future." (Everyone believes that. Cut.)
• Self-diminishing — "Like you, but at a vastly smaller scale." (They already know that. Cut.)
• Boastful — "Like you, I'm super smart and super successful." (Backfires. Cut.)

What works: specific, genuine, slightly unexpected. A "like you" line should reference a sensory detail from your shared origin that cannot be sent to anyone else — a specific cuisine you both grew up with, a specific city you both lived in for a specific year, a specific job you both did before the one you're emailing about. That's the whole point.

What you need

This skill takes two inputs:

1. Recipient dossier (from recipient-research)
2. Writer's profile (context/about-me.md or equivalent)

If either is missing, run recipient-research first or ask the user to point you at their about-me file.

What to look for

Cross-reference the two profiles for overlap in these eight categories. The further down the list, the higher the leverage.

1. Career parallel (medium — common)

Worked at the same company, in the same industry, in similar roles. Use only if there's a specific overlap — same product, same team, same era.

2. Educational parallel (low — overused)

Same school. Useful only with a specific shared experience (same professor, same class, same dorm). "Stanford MBA" alone is too generic.

3. Geographic / origin parallel (medium — strong if specific)

Same hometown. Same immigration story. Lived in the same unusual place. Visited the same specific spot.

4. Formative experience parallel (high)

Both military veterans. Both first-generation immigrants. Both built something from zero. Both worked a manual-labor job before a desk job. Specific date or place beats abstract category.

5. Hobby / passion parallel (high — disarming)

Both Ironman triathletes. Both jazz pianists. Both run ultras. Both bake bread. Specificity matters: "like you, I'm 6 marathons in" beats "like you, I'm a runner."

6. Contrarian opinion parallel (highest — most memorable)

You both believe an unfashionable thing about the same topic. "Like you, I think the LLM-evals space is wildly under-priced. A recent paper from a frontier lab made the case better than I could." This signals you've read them carefully and you have your own brain. (In a real email, you'd name the specific paper and the specific lab — the placeholder above keeps the shape generic for the documentation.)

7. Unusual / coincidental detail (highest — disarming + memorable)

Both wear the same obscure watch brand. Both reference the same indie film. Both quote the same Greek philosopher. The more unusual, the better — these are the lines people screenshot.

8. Shared friction / shared frustration (high — earns trust)

Both have wrestled with the same hard problem. "Like you, I tried to ship X with Y constraint. I lost three months on it. I'd love your scar tissue." Vulnerability + specificity.

What to avoid (the wall of shame)

• "Like you, I believe in [generic industry truism]"
• "Like you, but at a smaller scale"
• "Like you, I'm passionate about complex problems"
• "Like you, I think AI will change the world"
• "Like you, I went to a top school"
• "Like you, I'm a builder" — what does that even mean

If your candidate hook fits any of these patterns, throw it out and look harder.

Output format

## Top 5 connection angles, ranked

### 1. <One-line hook> [category, leverage score 1–10]
**The line as it could appear in the email:**
> "Like you, <specific genuine connection>."

**Why it works:** <one sentence>
**Source for the recipient detail:** <link>
**Source for the writer's detail:** <about-me.md line or equivalent>

### 2. <…>
### 3. <…>
### 4. <…>
### 5. <…>

## Notes
- <If two of the angles are close to each other, flag it — pick one>
- <If the writer's profile is thin in an area where the recipient is rich, name it as a gap>
- <If you can't find five strong angles, say so. Better one great hook than five weak ones.>

How to use

1. User says: "Find connections between me and [target]" or invokes after recipient-research.
2. Read context/about-me.md (or equivalent).
3. Read the dossier.
4. Cross-reference for the eight categories above.
5. Rank by leverage — contrarian opinions and unusual coincidences at the top.
6. Hand off to cold-email-coach or fun-angle.

When to flag a problem

If the only overlap you can find is generic ("we both went to Stanford"), tell the user honestly. That's a signal they should:

• Get a warm intro instead of going cold
• Pick a different target where the connection is stronger
• Lead with the offer rather than the connection (skip rule 5, double down on rule 10)

A weak connection forced into the email is worse than no connection.